The Fight Crew Manifesto

"We Love to Fight and It Shows!"
Welcome to the Fight Crew's non-stop service to pain, with continuing service to agony. For your safety, please read the following instructions carefully:

In the event of a Fight Crew attack, please stay seated with your seatbelts tightly fastened. Turbulence and extreme force are expected, so please, for your own safety, do not interfere with Fight Crew functions.

When experiencing an emergency crash-landing, if you are seated anywhere near a Fight Crew member, put your head between your knees and kiss your ass good-bye. Hurling yourself to relative safety before helping others around you may increase chances of survival. (Please note: No slides will inflate and no rafts will deploy, but at least you'll be spared the rolling fury of the Fight
Crew.)

If you are unable or unwilling to perform these functions, please reseat
yourself as soon as conditions return to normal. In the likely event of passenger exhilaration and subsequent hyperventilation, no oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. We keep these all for ourselves. You're on your own.
We realize that you have a choice when deciding on kick-ass roller derby action, and we thank you for choosing the Fight Crew.

Oh, and please stow all fear in the overhead bin: we can smell it.